Tonight, I want to talk about something we all use every single day. Something that cost us nothing, but can sometimes be worth more than anything money can buy.

Words.

Words that build us up. Words that give us hope. Words that make someone feel loved, appreciated, and understood.

And there’s the other kind. Words that hurt. Words that stay with us long after the conversation is over. Words that sometimes can change relationship in matter of seconds.

There’s an old story about a man who said something hurtful about another person in his town, and later he regretted it. So he went to a wise person to ask if he could make things right. And the wise person gave him a pillow filled with feathers, and told him to go outside and scatter them throughout the town.

The man did as he was told. He opened the pillow, and the winds carry the feathers everywhere, down the streets, into people’s yard, over the rooftops, and into places he could never reach.

When he returned, the wise person told him to go back and collect every feather. The man was astonished. He says, “That’s impossible. The wind has carried them everywhere. I could never get them all back.”

And the wise person explained that his words were just like those feathers. Once they were out and released into the world, he could not gather them at all and get them back, ever.

I’ve always liked that story, but recently I have been thinking about it differently. Because we all know how easy it is to speak. We are having a conversation, we are telling a story, we are trying to make a point, and sometimes before we even realize it, the words are out.

We may not intend to hurt anybody. We may not even believe that what we are saying can harm, but let me tell you this. Sometimes we say things without thinking. We may mean no harm, but our words can touch an old wound, damage trust, or tell somebody else’s story in a way that was never ours to tell.

We know what we meant, but we don’t get to decide whose story is which and how someone else feels.

And yet, words can also change life. A few simple words of encouragement, a sincere “I’m here for you” or “I believe in you” can stay with someone for years. We all know the influence of teachers on students, and how they can build with words.

So we have a choice. We can use words to win an argument, or to understand. We can rush to explain ourselves, or take a moment to listen. Or better yet, pause for 5-6 seconds before you answer a question, before you speak your mind.

Sometimes we all wish, and I know I would, that we had that five seconds to reflect and think before we talked. But those 5 seconds are gone forever.

And when we get it wrong, we can find the humility to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry” and take full responsibility and be accountable. And taking responsibility doesn’t mean that the hurt that you feel or the one that you caused are going to be vanished or reduced. You can play in your head the moment that you regret over and over and over, and hating yourself for it, and punishing yourself for it, but it’s not going to help. The words are out. The feathers are out, and you can’t put them back.

There is something special about words when they become lyrics in a song. The melody may be beautiful, but it’s often the lyrics, the words, that reach somewhere deep inside us. They give us a voice to feel.

Sometimes songwriter says in three minutes what we have been trying to say for years. Isn’t that remarkable? A song can make us smile, bring tears to our eyes, and even remind us of somebody we miss. The singer may be telling their own story, but somehow, somewhere, we hear our own story in it.

And of course, music cannot undo the hurtful words we have spoken, but it can help us understand them, reflect on them, and and perhaps find the words we need to say next.

So tonight, as we travel from east to west through music, let’s listen not only to the melodies, but to the words. Let’s remember that words have power, and when they are joined with music, that power can stay with us. I tend to say, forever.

This is Eitan Battat, and I’m going to tell you more about my personal story of regret later on. Stay with me for the next couple of hours.